BLOG Post #41: A Frustrated Open Letter to the MTA & My Fellow New Yorkers from a Struggling New Parent

Dear NYC MTA and my fellow subway riding New Yorkers,

Please, for the love of all things holy, I am begging you… get your head out of your own ass and wake up! New York City is a place with plenty of unspoken social rules. There are just too many of us (estimated to be around 8,097,282 people) crammed into this geographically small city (305 square miles), and we all know we need to abide by these unspoken norms.

I became a first-time mom in July 2023 and live in Brooklyn. For the first three months of my son’s life, I rarely had to get on the subway. But at that unfortunate state issued 12-week mark, I returned to work in Flatiron, and he started daycare down the street from my office. So every week, five days a week, we commute to the city from Brooklyn together. With my new situation came a changed perspective and a whole new set of struggles. I always had issues with the MTA system, as does most commuting New Yorkers but I quickly realized how utterly miserable it is for new parents as well as how insufferably selfish and utterly unaware my fellow New Yorkers can sometimes be.

Horrifically Filthy and Wildly Unreliable MTA Subway, You Have One Job

Let’s lay the foundation for this complaint by explaining what the NYC MTA Is. The New York City Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) is a public benefit corporation responsible for operating the city's vast public transportation network, including subways, buses, and commuter railroads like the Long Island Rail Road (LIRR) and Metro-North Railroad. Established by the government, the MTA serves a critical public purpose—ensuring efficient transportation for millions of residents, workers, and tourists in the New York metropolitan area. While it operates with a degree of independence and generates revenue through fares and tolls, the MTA is not a private company. It is overseen by a board appointed by the governor of New York, and its mission prioritizes public service over profit. Within the MTA, the department that specifically handles the subway system is called MTA New York City Transit (NYCT). This division is responsible for the operation, maintenance, and management of the subway system, as well as buses in New York City. NYCT oversees all aspects of subway service, including train schedules, station operations, safety, infrastructure maintenance, and customer service issues. The division works to ensure that the subway system runs smoothly, addressing delays, repairs, and improvements to enhance the experience for millions of daily riders.

Now that we've laid the foundation, let's start with talking about how disgustingly dirty and unsafe the subway can feel. As a single person, navigating it was bad enough, but now I’m bringing an innocent, delicate little human into that environment. The thought of a massive rat darting past my baby’s stroller or catching a whiff of crack smoke from the homeless person camped out down there? It’s enough to make you question your sanity. Some stations are so urine-soaked that the metal poles are starting to erode at the bottom. Bringing a baby into such a harsh and grimy place is a reality check. Do we need to bring back "He Who Shall Not Be Named" (Rudy Giuliani) with his increased police presence, anti-vandalism campaigns, and stricter rule enforcement? What will it take to have a subway system that even remotely rivals those of London or Paris? It's honestly embarrassing.

Moving on to the thing that should get us new parents moving vertically, let’s chat elevators. The one at the station near my apartment (Flushing AVE) was down for what I can rememeber was over a year for maintenance. So, there I was, when my 12 week maternity leave came to an end, my husband and I had to choose: do we commute together and lug the stroller up two long flights of stairs, or do I strap my infant to me with a Baby Bjorn and trek through the city like a pack mule? Spoiler alert: neither option is particularly appealing or easy especially considering I am also lugging my gym bag, work bag and lunch. Okay, okay, so we make it to the city. Now there is no elevator option by my office. Dope dope dope, guess I’m going to lose that baby weight pretty quickly. Oh and when you do get lucky and there is an operational elevator for use, they are not all roses and sunshine. The exact opposite actually - urine, feces and fats. How you ever taken the West 4th Street Station elevators? They are so covered in urine that you question whether you’ve stepped into an overflowing portapotty from the Electric Daisey Festival or an elevator maintained by the fare you’re not evading. Maybe the MTA should considering changing the slogan about not evading fare from “Every fare counts, so please pay your fare every time you ride” to “Every fare counts, they just aren’t going towards maintenance and upkeep”.

What a delight!

And don’t get me started on the unreliable service. Countless times, the train I’m on with my infant just stops running, and they kick everyone off with a muffled announcement that no one can decipher. Suddenly, I’m stranded at a station where I can’t transfer to another train, or, more commonly, there’s no elevator to get me to the new platform. I’ve been left waiting for extended periods among hordes of frustrated commuters while my hungry baby cries, and panic sets in. Or how about the overwhelming feeling when the train halts underground due to traffic ahead, especially when delays stem from police activity at a station ten stops away. Picture this: a crowded train, panic rising in my chest, the temperature increasing, and my sweet little one begins to wail. You find yourself troubleshooting while everyone stares. The judgment is palpable, and you can’t escape it. How long will this delay last? Are we going to move soon? Will we be stuck down here forever? And what about his diaper, will it last through this delay? Cue the disapproving looks from fellow commuters—as if I’m the only person who has ever had a fussy baby on a train. My poor little dude is just as desperate to get off the train as I am. Thanks, MTA—you had one job!

Now, let’s talk about the signs—or rather, the lack thereof. Did you know there’s a specific train car designed without seats at one end for people in wheelchairs and parents with strollers? I didn’t realize this until I became a parent. This designated area sounds great in theory, but where is it? On most platforms, there’s no clear indication of where to stand to board this particular car. Unless you’re an MTA historian, you’re left standing near those black-and-white striped indicator boards on the back wall of the platform or above your head, hoping you’re in the right spot. Some stations, like Marcy Avenue on the M train, do have a large floor sticker indicating a designated wheelchair and stroller boarding area, which helps other riders know to enter the train in a different section. More of this, please!

Once you finally find your way to this designated area and if here is space for you to get on good luck trying to get close enough to a railig to hold on. You better lock that stroller up and grasp for whatever you can reach. Most of the time people are crammed in this area leaving you with the only option of holding into what I like to call the “pincher rail”. It’s this ridiculous little weird bar that is attached directly to the AC unit above your head. It leaves just enough space for you to pinch it with two fingers to hold on. Who thought this was a good idea or an effective solution for how aggressively the train jerks you around when there is even a slight curve in the track? Just take a look at this shit. Also the AC vents that your knuckles are rubbing against are ALWAYS filthy. So hold on to that, then touch your baby sweet pure face with your nasty germ filled hand.

Who designed these trains and stations, anyway? Did they consult any new parents? People have been having babies and raising them in NYC since this land was called New Amsterdam; it’s how we’re all here! And yet, no one thought to consider this part of the population when designing or redesigning the trains, stations, and platforms. Have you ever been to the Delancey/Essex station? The platform for the M train going to Brooklyn is so narrow that I get nervous walking to the end. Now, throw in a hoard of people, and I’ve got my precious little baby in a stroller. Talk about a panic attack waiting to happen! “Don’t stand on the yellow strip, stand away from the platform edge.” Well, that’s not physically possible at that station. It’s dangerous and downright uncool.

So that’s it for my beef with the MTA—for now. Now, let’s move on to my fellow New Yorkers—the people I’ve been rubbing elbows with for 14 years. MY PEOPLE… until you aren’t.

My Beef With My Fellow New Yorkers

There’s something about the New York City subway that brings out the best and the worst in people. We’re all just trying to get somewhere—work, home, a friend’s place, wherever—but the journey from point A to point B can often feel like a battleground. Sometimes you have someone relentlessly INSISTING they give you their seat because you are strapped with a newborn and other times you have someone pushing your pregnant ass out of the way because you aren’t climbing the stairs fast enough. Navigating the subway should be a collective experience, but too often, we’re left fighting for personal space, common decency, and a little bit of sanity. And lately, my fellow New Yorkers have been really testing my new parent patience.

So here’s my beef, I know we’re all dealing with crowded platforms, delayed trains, and the constant hum of the city that never sleeps, but there are a few things we can all do to make our shared commute just a little less aggravating. Consider this a friendly, slightly frustrated, straight up style reminder from a sleep deprived New Yorker new parent for those of you who seem to have lost your sense of community and self awareness during the covid shut down in 2020.

1. Don’t Block Designated Areas
Ah, the designated spaces for wheelchairs and strollers—those vital open areas designed to keep us moving smoothly through the subway. Yet, how often do we find perfectly able-bodied people leaning against the walls or blocking the pathway, as if they're at a leisurely picnic rather than a bustling transit hub? This is not your personal lounge; it’s a space intended for parents with strollers and individuals needing extra room to navigate. When you block these areas, you’re not just inconveniencing one person; you’re disrupting the flow for everyone. It’s like standing in the middle of a busy sidewalk while everyone else is trying to get around you. So, please, park yourself elsewhere and let’s keep these areas clear for those who truly need them. We all benefit when we respect the spaces designed to enhance our experience! Don’t you want me stroller out of the middle of the doorway? Then give up your lean and get out of the fucking way.

2. Look Up From Your Phone
I get it—scrolling through Instagram, reading the latest news, or catching up on TikTok feels like an essential part of daily life. Tech addiction is real. But while you’re busy double-tapping your screen, the world is still moving around you. Maybe you didn’t notice the mom next to you, struggling with a stroller that weighs more than most New York apartments. Maybe you missed the guy with a cane trying to navigate his way through the crowd. Wake up! You’re not navigating the tunnels of NYC in some virtual bubble as the main character in whatever bullshit show you are currently watching. Look up every once in a while, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll see that the world around you could use a little more awareness and a lot more kindness.

3. Move Out of the Way
When the train doors open, resist the urge to channel your inner Times Square Statue of Liberty and freeze in place—especially if you spot a parent wrestling with a stroller. Trust me, we're not looking to play bumper cars with your ankles, and I doubt you’d enjoy that either! Whether you're lost in a daydream or absorbed in your own thoughts, it’s time to snap out of it and step aside. Think of it like a fire drill: clear the path and let the stroller glide through! This is the subway, not an obstacle course, and no one wants to witness a chaotic pile-up at the platform. So unless you are interested in me adding a few unsightly bruises to your legs, let’s keep things moving—it’s just better for everyone involved.

4. I Know You See This Pregnant Belly
Oh, hi, hello, hey! I know you see me. Or at least I know you see this big pregnant belly protruding from my midsection. Don’t pretend you’re so engrossed in your phone that you didn’t notice the very pregnant woman standing right in front of you. I saw the quick glance out of the corner of your eye. You think if you keep scrolling, you won’t have to give up your precious seat? Well, guess what? I’m going to make sure you can’t avoid me. That’s right—I’ll just stick this pregnant belly right in your face until you feel the guilt slowly creep in. I am not sure if you know this, but I’ve gained a magnum bottle of wine worth of blood. That means everything down to my toenails is swollen, and my poor heart is working overtime just to get myself up a set of subway stairs. Being pregnant feels like you have a watermelon (that you can never put down) resting on your bladder while simultaneously pulling all the muscles in your lower back. Everything hurts—please offer me your seat. It’s not all that much to ask. You would have wanted someone to offer your pregnant mom a seat when you were squatting in her abdomen.

5. Lazy Elevator Assholes
I get it (I guess)—we're all in a rush, but let’s not turn the elevator into a battleground! If you're perfectly capable of taking the stairs or escalator, please don't be the one who swoops in at the last second to snag the elevator just as the doors are closing or cramming yourself on when there really isn’t space for your lazy ass. This isn’t a race for the last donut in the break room! Remember, people with disabilities, the elderly, and parents with strollers should have priority access to the elevator; they truly need it. If you're hopping on just for convenience or because you are too lazy to climb a set of stairs, you’re contributing to the problem, and you look like a jerk. Let’s be considerate and make sure the elevator serves those who rely on it most—after all, a little thoughtfulness can go a long way in making public spaces more accessible for everyone!

A Final Thought for My Fellow New Yorkers and the MTA

Here’s the bottom line: the subway, like New York itself, is a shared space. It’s not your personal ride-share service, and it certainly isn’t about making life easier for yourself at the expense of others. Whether you're a parent juggling a stroller, a person with a large collection of recycling, or just trying to navigate the daily chaos, we’re all in this together. Think of it like the New York City Marathon—we’re all running the same race, each carrying our own burdens while trying to keep our sanity in check.

Fellow New Yorkers, a little consideration, awareness, and patience can go a long way. Look up from your fucking phone, scoot the fuck over, and remember: we’re all just trying to get where we’re going without losing our fucking minds.

And to the MTA—seriously, do better. At the end of the day, the subway reflects New York itself: chaotic, fast-paced, and a little rough around the edges, but also alive with diversity and resilience. The subway system is the lifeblood of this city, and with the fare increases, it’s about time that improvements followed suit. Elevators shouldn’t be out of commission for months on end, announcements need to be clear and understandable, and basic maintenance shouldn’t feel like an afterthought. We depend on you to keep this city moving, stop fucking it up.

As we all strive to be better and expand our patience - stay fresh, have a laugh and join the club!

Sincerely,

FRESH DIAPIE SOCIAL CLUB