Tacky or Genius? Rethinking Baby & Toddler Gifting Norms

Be honest—baby showers, birthdays, and kid-related gift-giving have turned us into a society drowning in stuff. Cute, tiny, utterly adorable stuff—but mostly unnecessary clutter that piles up, drains wallets, and forces parents to frantically Google, “how to return a gift without offending anyone?”

Meanwhile, the things that actually help babies, toddlers, and their utterly exhausted parents—college savings, practical supplies, or (gasp!) just straight-up cash—are somehow considered tacky. But why? Why is it perfectly acceptable to gift a monogrammed cashmere newborn onesie (that will last a whole three weeks) but weird to contribute to a college fund?

It’s time to rewrite the rules. Let’s break down what society deems “tacky” but is actually pure genius.

💸 Asking for Cash Instead of Gifts

For some reason, the only life event where it’s socially acceptable to outright ask for money is a wedding. But when a baby is on the way? Nope. Parents are expected to graciously accept an avalanche of plush toys, impractical baby shoes, and outfits their newborn will wear once.

🔹 Pro Tip: As soon as you get your baby’s Social Security number, open a 529 College Savings Plan. When it’s time for gifts, instead of saying “just give us cash” (which, let’s be honest, makes people weirdly uncomfortable), try: “We’d love a contribution to [baby’s name]’s 529 plan to kickstart their future!” Same request, but now it sounds classy and responsible.

🔄 Giving Secondhand Baby & Toddler Gifts

Some people act like used baby items are cursed. But let’s be real: babies don’t care. They don’t know if that book has been lovingly read by ten other kids or if their bouncer has been previously enjoyed. What they do care about? Eating, pooping, and not being stuck in a car seat for too long.

🔹 Pro Tip: When in doubt, go vintage. Vintage always feels elevated, even if it’s just a set of hand-me-down books collecting dust in your neighbors basement from 1988. And if your kid has outgrown a favorite book, wrap it up and pass it along—because 9 times out of 10, little ones care way more about ripping open the paper than the actual gift inside.

👕 Skipping Fancy Baby Clothes & Go Basic

I know, I know—tiny newborn outfits are irresistible. But do you know what’s actually useful? A bulk pack of stain-resistant onesies and a Target gift card. Or better yet, clothes in bigger sizes so the kid has something to wear beyond the first month.

🔹 Pro Tip: If you’re buying baby clothes, size up (think 9-12M or 12-18M). Everyone gifts newborn outfits, but bigger sizes? That’s a game-changer. Plus, some babies are born massive and never even fit into newborn sizes (speaking from experience).

🍽 Signing Up for a Meal Train Instead of Giving Another Stuffed Animal

Nobody needs another stuffed bear named “Mr. Cuddles.” Do you know what every new parent does need? A hot meal they didn’t have to cook.

🔹 Easy Fix: Set up a Meal Train or just text, “Hey, can I drop off dinner for you this week?” This simple gesture is worth more than all the frilly stuffies in the world.

🎁 Group Gifting Big-Ticket Items

Would you rather have 20 tiny, random gifts… or one very useful big-ticket item like a stroller, car seat, or crib? Exactly. But somehow, asking for a group gift still gets the side-eye.

🔹 Make It Happen: Have a friend or family member coordinate it. People love chipping in when they know their money is going toward something useful.

🎈 Skipping Goodie Bags at Toddler Birthday Parties

At what point did we start giving gifts to people who attend our kids’ birthday parties? When did that become a thing? Do toddlers really need a bag of plastic junk that will explode all over their parents’ car and be forgotten in 24 hours? No. They do not.

🔹 Better Idea: Let’s collectively agree to stop doing goodie bags. The party itself (with cake!) is already the treat. It’s enough, you’ve done enough. 

📝 Registering for “Unromantic” Essentials

Yes, tiny shoes and adorable outfits are fun to buy, but do you know what’s a lifesaver? Postpartum supplies, extra crib sheets, and a lifetime supply of baby wipes.

🔹 Normalize It: Add a “Parent Survival Kit” section to your registry and load it up with things like nipple cream, ibuprofen, and dry shampoo. Trust me—you’ll thank yourself later.

✨ Final Thoughts: Let’s Make Practical the New Cool

We’ve built entire traditions around baby showers and birthdays that prioritize stuff over support. It’s time to shift the focus to what actually helps families—education funds, practical help, and experiences over things.

What’s actually tacky? Wasting money on things that don’t benefit the baby or their exhausted parents. Let’s rewrite the rulebook. 🚀

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