Spilling More Than Just Milk
We’ve Got Some Real Shit to Share!
CATEGORIES
TOPICS
The Hilarious Differences Between Modern New Parents and Boomer Parents
Parenting has evolved dramatically over the decades, and the differences between how our Boomer parents did it and how modern parents are doing it now are nothing short of hilarious. Picture this: you and your partner get into the car after a family event, exhausted from chasing your little one around. As soon as the doors close, you both start talking shit about how your parents did things when you were a baby. “Can you believe they used to put us to sleep on our stomachs? No wonder I have trust issues!” you laugh. “And don’t even get me started on those weird, processed baby foods. How did we even survive?!”
Surviving Our First Week as Parents (and Two Hospital Stays!)
When you have a baby, it feels like you’re worried about everything under the sun. You’re constantly on edge, unsure of what you’ll need or what could potentially go wrong. It’s like you’re on a roller coaster and just hoping it doesn’t go off the rails.
The Big Snip or Not? The Circumcision Dilemma All New Boy Parents Face
So, you've got a baby boy on the way, and as if choosing between a dozen strollers and mastering diaper changes weren’t enough, now you’ve got to answer one of the age-old parental questions: to circumcise or not to circumcise?
Unsolicited Advice (NEW PARENT Edition)
Welcome to the Fresh Diapie Social Club, where we dive headfirst into the chaotic world of new parenthood with a hearty laugh and a wink. Today’s topic? The unsolicited advice marathon that seems to start the moment you announce you’re expecting. Let’s face it, everyone suddenly becomes an expert on how to raise your child, and it’s as delightful as a toddler with a permanent marker. Buckle up for a funny and antidotal journey through the wild world of unsolicited parenting tips.
Daycare: The Realization That Someone Else is Going to Help Raise My Baby
Being a New York City mom comes with its own special flavor of chaos. Commuting with a baby? That’s the city’s version of Hogwarts' staircase: just when you think you’ve figured out the perfect route, it changes on you without warning. Picking your form of childcare? Oh, that’s a whole other beast.
The Evolution of Baby Fashion: From Basic to Hilarious
Once upon a time, baby fashion was all about functionality. Think plain white onesies and knitted booties that Grandma made. But oh, how times have changed! Today, baby fashion has evolved into a hilarious, trendy, and downright adorable industry that leaves us cooing at every tiny outfit. Let’s take a trip down memory lane and explore how we went from basic to laugh-out-loud baby fashion.
Mrs. Rachel: The YouTube Savior for Sleep-Deprived Parents Everywhere
If you’ve been in the trenches of new parenthood lately, you’ve probably met Mrs. Rachel. And no, she’s not that overly opinionated mom in your playgroup. Mrs. Rachel is the YouTube sensation who has single-handedly saved the sanity of sleep-deprived parents across the globe. But who is she, really? And how did she become the Queen of Infant / Toddler TV?
Becoming a Father: The Crash Course
Ah, the first kid—where you're equal parts excited and terrified, and feeling completely unprepared for the job. You can try to predict what parenthood will be like, but guess what? You’re doing the predicting, and you’ve got zero experience. It’s like trying to explain snow to someone who’s lived their whole life in the desert—good luck.
12 pregnant animals who are totally over it.
Ah, pregnancy. The time when glowing moms-to-be are celebrated, pampered, and showered with love. But let's be real for a second: pregnancy isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, it’s more like storm clouds and angry rhinos. And speaking of rhinos, it turns out that our friends in the animal kingdom are no exception to the rule. Join us as we dive into the wild and wonderful world of animal pregnancy, featuring twelve fierce and fabulous creatures who are just about done with this whole 'expecting' business.
Can Babies regulate their own temperatures?
Today’s topic: Can babies regulate their own body temperatures? Spoiler alert: the answer involves a lot more work for you than for them. Let's break it down!
Preeclampsia Postpartum: The Plot Twist I Didn't See Coming
There I was, 10 centimeters dilated, one leg in my husband’s hands, the other in my nurse’s, gripping the hospital bed rails for dear life. I was locked in on my OB-GYN, who was calmly coaching me through each contraction. “You have to get above the baby with your body,” she said, like I was doing Olympic gymnastics and not, you know, pushing out a human. “Push down and out; he’s gotta get past your pelvis bone.” With everything swirling in my head, I closed my eyes, letting each wave of contractions hit me like an oncoming tide, then sprinting through each push.
What the fuck is brick dust?
Welcome to the wild world of parenting, where every day is an adventure and every diapie change holds the potential for a surprise. Speaking of surprises, let’s talk about one that can really freak out new parents: brick dust. If you’ve ever opened your baby’s diaper and found what looks like reddish, rust-colored powder, you’re not alone. Here’s everything you need to know about this mysterious phenomenon.
Oh, the Birth Story! (With a Side of Spicy Chicken Sandwiches)
Ah, the anticipation of giving birth for the first time. If you're anything like me, you probably spent months gathering every birth story you could find, like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter. "Will my water break like in the movies?" "Will I be that woman who ends up giving birth in the bathroom at home because she didn’t feel a thing?" My mind was a wild tornado of possibilities, each scenario more dramatic than the last.
The Great Fade: How *SOME* Parenting Judgments Magically Disappear After Year One
Ah, the first year of parenthood. It’s a beautiful time filled with baby snuggles, first giggles, and more unsolicited advice than you ever thought possible. From breastfeeding to bedtime routines, it seems everyone has an opinion. But here’s a little secret: all those judgments? They miraculously fade away after the first birthday. Let’s dive into the top five things new parents are judged for and how they magically stop mattering after the big one.
Your pregnant body - 20 things they didn’t tell you about
So, you’re pregnant. Congratulations! Now, prepare yourself for the magical journey of growing a tiny human inside you. It’s like having a houseguest who redecorates without asking and insists on cooking pungent dishes at 2 AM. Here are 20 delightful surprises they didn’t tell you about your pregnant body, and why they happen. Spoiler alert: hormones are to blame for basically everything.
The Nursing Chair That I Never Nursed In: A Hilariously Emotional Tale
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I had this vision of being the quintessential "Brooklyn Mom." Picture it: limited gear, baby strapped to me in a chic sling, and zero bottles because I would be the breastfeeding queen. Naturally, I devoted an embarrassing amount of time to finding the perfect nursing chair for my baby’s room. It had to swivel, rock gently, have the perfect arm height for elbow support, and a tall enough back to rest my head during those dreamy late-night feedings. The fabric had to be just right—nothing too dark since I imagined countless meals being spilled on it. Finally, I found "The One," ordered it online, and couldn't wait to sit in it, pregnant, daydreaming about nursing my soon-to-arrive little boy. Little did I know that the times I sat in it pregnant would outnumber those after he arrived.
The Fine Line of Fine (Sleep & Feeding)
Welcome to the wild ride that is parenting a newborn! If you've ever found yourself spiraling down a rabbit hole of sleep schedules, feeding charts, and well-meaning advice from Aunt Karen, you're not alone. Today, we’re diving into the chaotic world of infant sleep and feeding for babies 0-6 months. Spoiler alert: there’s no single “right” way to do this, despite what every parenting book, blog, and Instagram mom might tell you.
Why Parents Should Be the Only Ones Kissing the Baby
Hey there, Fresh Diapie fam! We all know that our adorable little bundles of joy are basically cuddle magnets. Those chubby cheeks and tiny toes practically scream, “Kiss me!” But whoa, Nelly – before you let the entire extended family turn into a kissing brigade, let's chat about why only parents should hold the prestigious title of Official Baby Kissers. And trust us, we’ve got some knee-slapping (and surprisingly scientific) reasons to back it up.
Finding Zen in the Chaos: The Joy of Imperfect Parenting
Welcome to the wild ride of parenting a newborn to a toddler, where the only constant is chaos, and the quest for perfection is hilariously futile. If you’re a new parent, you’ve probably realized by now that the serene, picture-perfect family life you envisioned is a myth. Instead, you’re navigating a world where sleep is a luxury, laundry is never-ending, and meal times are a battlefield. But guess what? There’s a strange, wonderful joy in all this madness. Let’s dive into the art of finding Zen in the chaos of imperfect parenting, especially when dealing with tiny humans from birth to two years old.
The History and Cultural Significance of Kissing Babies: A Journey Through Time and Germs
Gather 'round, grab your favorite snack (preferably something that won't smear all over your clothes when your little one inevitably grabs it), and let’s embark on a hilarious and enlightening journey through the history and cultural significance of kissing babies. Spoiler alert: It's been a wild ride!